|A Hobbit of Thrones|
|Season 5, Episode 6|
|Air date|| March 27, 2014 (Download) |
April 24, 2014 (Mondo)
May 1, 2014 (YouTube)
|Episode run time||2:57|
The Red Planet
A Hobbit of Thrones is the 6th episode of Dick Figures Season 5 and the 46th episode overall.
A The Hobbit/Game of Thrones mash-up where the characters argue which franchise is better while incredibly high on pot-brownies. But disaster strikes when people start making up their own D&D rules.
(The Episode opens with the 'Hark!' written in cursive as it then shows Blue with Red floating in.)
Red: (to music) Dun dun, dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun, (sways sword around),dun dun dun dun!
Blue: God damn it! Would thou stop singing that stupid song?! This is Dungeons and Dragons not Game of Thro-
Red: DUUNN dun, dun dun dun!
Blue: Would thou cutist outist?!
(Pink and Stacy walk in holding brownies.)
Blue: Whoa! Thou are playing this time?
Stacy: Yeah bitch! We wanna get that fucking gold! Am I riiight?
Pink: Yeah plus Stacy brought free brownies! (eats a brownie) These are really good. What's in these?
Stacy: You know like Chocolate and Flour and Pot and Sugar and-
Blue: Babe, thou looketh mad sexy in that Cosplay outfit. Your givin' me a D-20.
Red: Yeah right! D-4 tops!
Blue: (looks down in dispair) Critical ego strike...
Red: Alright dungeon masturbater let's do this! Where we going?
Blue: Verily! (pulls a map out) So the value troop of warriors trip towards the mountain of gold protected by a CG dragon with a level 19 fire strike of the mighty hammer!
(Pink and Stacy suddenly become high.)
Pink: And then fuckin' cheeseburgers came out of the trees! They're Trees-Burgers! (laughs)
Blue: What are you doing?! I'M running this game!
(The top of a tree suddenly turns into a Cheeseburger.)
Blue: No stop it! You can't just make stuff up!
Stacy: Yeah and it's like... Covered in Candy and like, Jaime Lannister's hair? (The cheeseburger suddenly grows candy and hair)
Blue: Wait, what's in those brownies?
Red: I dunno but I want one!
(Pink and Stacy start eating the burger, Broseph soon comes out with a cape on.)
Broseph: You bras are pretty far north of the wall, hm.
Stacy: You know nothing Bro-Crow!
Broseph: We must keep warm, bra.
(Broseph and Stacy start tongue kissing on the ground.)
Red: Gross! Get a Hobbit-Hole you weirdos!
Broseph: Ha! I got one. Winter's comiiin.'
Red: (shakes in anger and raises his sword) I've got a dragon to slay! (approaches Stacy and Broseph with his sword raised)
Blue: Uhh, and then the troop takes.. (looks at his map) A teleportation spell to the Mountain!
(Red, Blue, Pink and Stacy teleport to the top of a mountain.)
Blue: Hark! We made it! And zoom the dragon!
(The Raccoon comes out of the volcano with wings and horns.)
Raccoon:OOSSHMAAOWG! (laughs low and evily)
Stacy: Tss, yeah right! It's like a furry cloud!
(Raccoon suddenly turns into a cloud with Trollz0r's face on it.)
Trollz0r: Oh, hey guys. Sup?
Pink: That cloud has a face, and I hate it!
Trollz0r: I hate you tooooo!
Pink: And then it disappears and we win and ordered pizza!
Trollz0r: Wait wait, noo!
(Trollz0r explodes and turns into pizza and pizza slices start falling from the sky.)
Blue: Hey you can't do that, that's cheating!
(Red and the girls start dancing.)
Red: Yeah and then the Red Knight opens a Tequila Potion! (A bottle of Vodka appears in Red's hand as he drinks it) Poof!
Blue: Aww what?!
Red: Yea-ha-ha-heah! And the god of funky jams descends upon the land!
(Neptune appears from the sky.)
Neptune: You limbo dims busta moves! Aww yeah!
(Suddenly goes to the real life world with the party still commencing.)
Gelato Bene: (comes in) 'Ey! Did-a somebody order a pizza?
Blue: (sighs) I'm just gonna go play with myself...
Gelato Bene: Uhh, you mean-a, BY yourself?
Blue: I know what I said!
(It then cuts to Blue fapping at the computer but actually throws a dice on the table.)
Blue: There! Finally! Rolled a D-20! Time to jack off.
- Stacy and Trollz0r's debuts in Season 5
- This is the first episode where Pink gets high.
- Second roleplaying episode, the first being Role Playas.
- Had an animation clip after the ending, it had the same animation style from Dick Figures: The Movie
- Neptune's first appearance in Dick Figures
- This was the first episode Broseph actually made out with a girl.
- This episode MAY have taken place in the Shit Piss Fart woods, but Lord Tourettes was not in this episode.
- It shows Red may get jealous whenever he sees Stacy making out with another boy.
- When the Jason cloud exploded, the red in Pink and Stacy's eyes disappeared.
- The Raccoon references "Lord of the Rings" and "Hobbit" when he says "OOSSHMAAOWG!". It sounds like he's saying "Oh Smaug", Smaug being a character from "Lord of the Rings" and "Hobbit"
normal letter I's, the Dick Figures logo shakes, and the Episode Ending is dextended. Then showed an extra animation clip, then a promo for Dick Figures Season 5.
Red was floating at the start of the episode, swinging his sword around while floating.