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Ballad of Lord Tourettes
Season 4, Episode 8
Ballad of Lord Tourettes 43
Lord Tourettes's ballad takes a dark turn.
Air date July 5, 2012
Episode run time 2:12
Episode guide
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Freshman 15
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The Fart Knight Rises
Dick_Figures_-_Ballad_of_Lord_Tourettes

Dick Figures - Ballad of Lord Tourettes

Ballad of Lord Tourettes is the 8th episode in Season 4, and the 38th episode overall.

Plot[]

Lord Tourettes sings the ballad of how he lost his virginity.

Youtube Description: A day in the life of Lord Tourettes is a scary FUCKING thing! Swear-along as he sings all about it.

Characters[]

Starring[]

Minor[]

Transcript[]

(Title card appears with italic letters)

And now...

A very special love story...

with Lord Tourettes.

(The animation starts showing a forest, with a sign: Shit Piss Fart Woods)

Lord Tourettes: ♪ Listen close for this tale is true now I shall sing a FUCK! (censoring as F#%$) for you. (giggles)

A long time ago, farrrr away, the SHITTY! sun rose quite so gay.

That is me, Lord Tourettes I am, who feasted on innards like jam!

In the distance, I saw her TITS!, not to mention her NAUGHTY! bits. *horny laughter* (within story)

I grabbed a new hat from the wall, hoping soon she'd be on my BALLS! (laughs)

But don't say that to a lady, it's so crass & FUCKING (censoring as F$*%&#@) SHADY! (giggles)

She swung those TITS! & walked away, but I pulled my guitar to play! (giggles)

I should have known it was music, that'd get her aaaaall up on my DICK!

The next FUCKING! spring, we were wed, at long last, she was in my bed.

I buttered up her up with a song (SOUNDS OF FOREST ANIMALS HAVING SEX FEROCIOUSLY) (giggles), as she stripped out of her '''THONG! (spring noise)

I love you, I sang with good pitch, now... ♪

...It's my turn to make you my... BITCH! (which gets censored)

(Lord Tourettes's eyes goes completly red as he throws the woman downward onto the bed, into some kind of dark place, where it resembles to some kind of hell as fire & hallucinations are shown.)

CAUSE I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR PUSSY TILL IT EXPLODES WITH A FUCKING MILLION BABIES!

YOU CAN'T WALK AWAY! YOU'RE IN MY SEX DUNGEON NOW MOTHERFUCKA!

(While Lord Tourettes is saying that, some entirely (censored) subtitles appears on the bottom of the screen)

'''('''''Demonic laugh) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

HA! HAAA!! HAAAA!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

(The screen now shows Red & Blue sitting on a couch, both with shocked faces, staring at Lord Tourettes, who was actually next to a television, showing in the screen how him & Gelato's Momma were having sex.)

Lord Tourettes: (giggles) And that's the story of the 1st time I had sex! Did ya like it?

Red: We weren't even talking about that! (Brief pause) Wait, go back to the part with the boobs.

- Episode Ends (almost)-

Lord Tourettes: The end.

Blue: (Red looks at him, his voice is auto tuned.) Be fine, shawtayyyy!

-Episode really ends-

Recurring Gags[]

Episode Ending[]

Dick Figures: The Movie outro.

Red Floating[]

None.

Auto-tune Usage[]

Blue says be fine, shawty.

Last Line Being Cut[]

None.

Trivia[]

  • This is the only episode so far with Red and Blue as minor characters.
  • This is the first episode where Blue doesn't have any lines.
  • Lord Tourettes' dream was from Real Dudes Bros Night Man.
  • Lord Tourettes' love interest was Gelato's Momma, who first appeared in Taco Tuesday.
  • This shows that Lord Tourettes is not a virgin.
  • This is the second episode where parts of dialogue have been censored. The first time was in Modern Flame War 3 when they posted the episode on Gamespot.
  • This episode was made in 1 week instead of the usual 2 week production cycle.
  • Lord Tourettes lives in the Shit Piss Fart Woods, in a small house in the shape of a hill.
  • An uncensored version of the episode was released with the Season 4 download on March 28, 2014.

Gallery[]

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