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Flame War
Season 1, Episode 3
Flamewartitle
Red and Blue battling their way through the mall.
Air date December 16, 2010
Episode run time 3:10
Episode guide
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"Flame War" is the third episode of Dick Figures.

Dick_Figures_-_Flame_War

Dick Figures - Flame War

Dick_Figures_-_Flame_War_Spanish_Version

Dick Figures - Flame War Spanish Version

Plot[]

Red and Blue try to get the only copy of the video game, "Flame War: Attack of the Trolls ", only to discover that other customers are willing to kill for it.

Youtube Description: Red and Blue turn a simple video game shopping spree to a black-ops killing spree.

Characters[]

Starring[]

Featuring[]

  • Violent Mall Customers

Minor Characters[]

Transcript[]

God "I can't hear you!!"
This article/section is typed directly as it is represented from the series and therefore may have spelling errors. Please do not correct these except IF and only if there are major spelling errors or if it's not pronounced that way.


(Blue and Red are both on a dropzone in their Roflcopter.)

Red: All right! We're over the dropzone! The objective is somewhere inside! Stay frosty!

Blue: (pounds his fist into his other hand) Let's pwn some noobs!

Red: This is gonna be awesoooooooome!

(They jump overboard. Blue screams.)

Red: Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(Blue uses his parachute. However, Red doesn't appear to have one and crashes through the Maulmart.)

Red: Oooooh!

(Camera zooms into Maulmart's front door. There are posters with Flame War.)

Flame War!

Posters

(Meanwhile, Red crashes into Maulmart's floor and leaves a self-print on it. He stands up immediately.)

Red: Yeah!

(Blue drops down gently with his parachute. Bullets started to fire at them.)

Blue: It's a trap!

Red: Desolate! (They run away. Red fires his rifle at the enemies.) Pew! Pew! Pew, God mode turn on! I think they're fucking hacking!!

(They both jump behind some sacks.)

Red and Blue: Ugh! (Red puts out his head. Blue follows but only half his head is visible.)

Red: Activating day vision goggles! (Uses a pair of binoculars.)

Blue: Those are binoculars.

(Red tries to find the game with his binoculars and sees random fights, shoppers shoot bullets at each other with rifles, bazookas, a tank, etc. A hand grenade is placed on a sack, and before the shoppers can run for it, they explode, Red then finds it.)

Red: Blue, there it is! The best video game ever released!

(Blue looks into the other side of the binoculars.)

Blue: And there's only one copy?!

Red: (deep voice) And it's mine. (He loads a shotgun.) Click click. (He and Blue jump out of the sacks and runs for the video game.) Die HAXORS! (Shoots a guy with his shotgun but misses, he then throws two ninja stars at a guy with side burns in the eyes. Blue shoots a top hat man with his sniper, Red uses a flame thrower and yells.) LET 'EM BURN!

(Blue hides behind a plant and sees a pink woman.)

Woman: Wow. I love a man in uniform.

Blue: Thank- (clears throat hard), thanks. You think that's something? Watch this! (Aims his scope at an elderly man. He tries to shoot him but the magazine falls off.) Got 'em.

(Red goes on a killing spree. He jumps over a table landing on his back shooting a man who follows him. Red then hops on a guy with sunglaases locking his head between his knees and twisting his neck while shooting another man in the face with a handgun. Red rides on a skateboard while being fired upon by a machine gunner. Red picks up an axe on a passing table, hacking a man and throwing the axe at what appears to be a shield that ricochets right at the gunner's head.)

Blue: So...you come here a lot?

Woman: No, I just got off work.

Blue: WOW, you're successful.

(The camera goes back to Red, when a man with an eye patch approaches behind him he shoots him.)

Red: BOOM, headshot! (Another man approaches in front of him and Red hits him with the shotgun.) Killing spree! (A third man comes in front of Red, and Red drives the shotgun through the man's head.) Death riot! (A knight of some sort comes in front of Red and tries to kill him, but Red lifts him up and tears him into two pieces.) Kill-tacular! (Jumps into the air and suddenly a Batman costume comes out of nowhere and he wields it.) I'm Batman!! (Gets closer and closer to the game.)

Woman: Well... I better be going.

Blue: Oh, let me walk you out. (Deep voice) We need to be careful. There's Charlie in the bushes.

(The camera looks at the bush where a gnome is sitting.)

Gnome: My name's Jake.

Woman: I think I'm okay...(walks away)

Blue: (whispering) Frack!

(Red breaks the glass case surrounding the game)

(Blue throws a grenade towards the woman)

Blue: Look out! (Tackles her in an attempt to make himself look heroic.)

(The grenade explodes)

(Red slowly reaches for the game)

Blue: (Blue pulls his face out of Pink's boobs) Oh, my God, I saved your life! Looks like you owe me dinner or something, ri-- Is this how this works?

Woman: Sure. How 'bout Friday?

Blue: (to himself happily) Yessss.

Red: (holding up the game) Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessss!

Blue: Well, I guess I'll... see you Fri-

Red: (running toward Blue) We gotta get outta here, dude!

Blue: Why?

Red: "C4" yourself!

(The camera shows a large pile of C4 bombs)

(Red fires a grappling hook, grabs Blue, and they swing out of the store and into the Roflcopter. The store explodes.)

Red: OVERKILL!

(Pink gets out of the store with rubble on her clothes, frustrated)

Woman: Dicks.

(Red and Blue are sitting on the couch. Red is holding the game.)

Red: (opens the game box) Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. (takes the disk out) Oh, man. Oh, man. (inserts the game into a console) Oh, man! Oh, man. Oh, man. (Red and Blue are both holding controllers.) It's starting! (Red gasps).

(LEVEL 01: TEH FORUM appears on the screen. It then shows the game, which is a Roflcopter shooting at various Internet memes (such as trollface), youtube viral video pics, angry birds picture, microsoft and others (like 4chan and Google Chrome). Red and Blue sit with shocked expressions on their faces. Red starts fighting the firstboss, Pedobear, originally found on 4chan.)

Red: LEEROOOOOYYYY JEE--

-Episode ends-

Dick Figures Title[]

Dick Figure 23

Flame Wars

  • That is mostly what this episode was all about, Bullets flying everywhere.


Trivia[]

  • A short titled "Tea Bag Teaser", was made to promote this episode.
  • This is the first appearance of Red and Blue's Apartment.
  • A flame war is usually referred to an arguement that happens on the internet.
  • Red impersonates Batman in this episode. Second Time happens in Bath Rhymes (Official Music Video).
  • This episode is Pink's debut.
  • This was the first episode where Mr. Dingleberry appears.
  • This is the first episode that didn't have any singing in it.
  • This is also the first episode that has no auto-tune use.
  • The enemies of the game are different logos of website, youtube viral video pics, and popular internet memes.
  • This is the first time Red is in his Batman costume.
  • This is the first episode where Red kills someone.
  • This is also the first episode that reveals Red having Superhuman Abilities.

Gallery[]

Recurring Gags[]

Auto-Tune Use[]

None.

Red Floating[]

Red floats when he becomes "Batman".

Episode Ending[]

The episode ends with the word DICK FIGURES with the "I"s replaced with bullets.

The Last Line Being Cut[]

When Red said "LEROY JENKINS", he said "LEROY JENK-" before it cut to the ending.

  • "LEROY JENKINS!" is a popular phrase by a World Of Warcraft player who charges into a high level dungeon & gets him & his team killed instead of following the team plan (then again, he did go to get some fried chicken & probably did not hear the plans).
  • Leroy Jenkins would be mentioned again as one of the players of Flame War (possibly game 2) in "Y U So Meme?".
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