|Season Spin-off, Episode 3|
|Air date|| July 16, 2015 (Fusion) |
October 18, 2015 (Mondo)
February 26, 2016 (YouTube)
|Episode run time||2:53|
Goople is the third episode of Chick Figures. It first aired on July 16, 2015 with Like, Share, Die, and was released on YouTube on February 26, 2016.
Lavender finally discovers why Scarlet is so rich...she works for Goople, the ginormous internet search company. It’s a wondrous place filled with dreams and free food. To prove that she has the best job ever, Scarlet bets Lavender that she can do zero work and still get promoted. Sometimes it’s hard work doing no work at all!
(Begins with Scarlet and Lavender walking down the street with Scarlet counting her money.)
Lavender: I wish I had money... I'm so poor! I hate you!
Scarlet: I hate you too bitch, that's why we're besties.
Lavender: What do you even do?
Scarlet: Uh, I just type shit and go on the internet and I f-(censor)-king hate it but they give me money and I don't care so I f-(censor)-king love it!
Lavender: And they pay you a million dollars a year?! Where the hell do you work?!
(They stand in front of the Goople warehouse.)
Lavender: You work for GOOPLE?! (smiles) I use that everyday!
(Cuts to Lavender's computer screen on the Goople search engine.)
Lavender: (off-screen, types in what she says) Ryan Reynold's Abs, safe search off. Alright Goople, let's do this. (clicks on search and begins masturbating as it cuts back to the two)
Scarlet: Our search engine just finds Cat gifs and porn. That's what everyone wants.
Lavender: (amazed) Damn! You got the best job ever!
Scarlet: Hah! F-(censor)-k yeah I do! I bet you I can do zero work today, and I'll STILL get promoted.
Lavender: (crosses her arms) I never bet... but your on!
(Cuts to Scarlet's computer screen with the Goople search engine)
Scarlet: (types on Goople's search engine) (off-screen) Ryan Reynold's butt, save the gay note. Okay Goople! (cuts to her at a desk) Time to jump off.
Steve (CEO): Scarlet! Did you order a $10,000 bouncy castle, on the company credit card?!
Scarlet: Uhhh, no? I think it was that intern Jodie. (cuts to Jodie next to the bouncy castle) She's such a stupid dumb idiot.
Steve: Jodie you're fired!
(She runs away crying)
Steve: Man! Now I gotta bounce in this castle, until it deflates. Being CEO is a BITCH! Scarlet, you gotta do my work for me.
Scarlet: What?! Hell no!
Steve: (sighs, and pulls out his phone) Just press send on this super important email. (hands her his phone) That's all you gotta do. Welp, this castle ain't gonna bounce itself! (starts bouncing around in the bouncy castle) OH GOD! It's so bouncy! I can't stop! Someone! Help! ME!
(A blue intern walks in from the right)
Blue Intern: I can help! I'm an intern!
(He suddenly starts bouncing around rapidly.)
Blue Intern: OH JESUS I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE!
Female Intern: Let me try! (bounces around) Whoooaaaa!
Scarlet: F-(censor)-king interns.
(She reads the letter as it reads 'Dear Investors, I'm gonna invest ALL YOUR MONEY in GOLD RAPPER CHAINS for dogs. Cuz I'm CEO bitches. Best, CEO Steve. She is about to press SEND, but her arm shakes.)
Scarlet: So... easy! But must, resist, working! (shakes again, and pants) Wait a minute, I work for a fancy tech company! I got a MILLION ways not to work!
(Scarlet starts dancing across the screen, as she starts doing various things as Black Words appear above)
DANCE ON POOR PEOPLE
(Scarlet and many employees are shown dancing on top of fat poor people.)
THE DIAMOND POOL
(Scarlet dives into a pool of diamonds and cheers)
(Scarlet is seen drinking beer with many other emplyees.)
(Scarlet is shown cuddling puppies with two other girls.)
(Scarlet is getting a back massage by Broseph)
(Red is shown behind the door, as a woman starts sucking his dick.)
FREE FIGHTER JETS
(Two fighter jets fly into the screen, as Scarlet fires at the other. It cuts to her collecting her payment.)
Scarlet: This job is so boring...
Steve: (runs from the right) SCARLET! You didn't send that email did you?!
Scarlet: What?! I don't even do my own work! No way am I gonna do yours!
Steve: Oh thank jobs. I almost made a terrible investment that would have wasted all our money! By not doing work, you just saved this company!
Scarlet: Pfft, I do that every day!
Steve: Oh you're truly the best employee ever! There's only one way to repay you!
(It cuts to Lavender on her phone, on the Goople search engine.)
Lavender: Turn off that safe search, (taps the safe search as un-ticked) Ryan Reynold's... address! Well Goople, here comes stalking.
(Suddenly, a video is shown on her phone as BREAKING NEWS with Scarlet holding a bag of money as Steve is seen jumping in the bouncy castle.)
Voice: Breaking news! Employee does nothing! Promoted to CEO!
(It cuts out to show Lavender near a trash box looking at her phone.)
Lavender: (angry) SON OF-
- Goople is a parody of Google.