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Real Dudes Bros Night Man
Season 3, Episode 2
DFRealDude
Air date October 6, 2011
Episode run time 3:52
Episode guide
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Adventures of Batman & The Bloser
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Dick_Figures_-_Real_Dudes_Bros_Night_Man

Dick Figures - Real Dudes Bros Night Man

Real Dudes Bros Night Man is episode two of Dick Figures Season 3 and the twenty-third overall.

Plot[]

On poker night, Red, Blue and the gang all prove that manliness isn't measured in inches, but in epic tales of man-might and cocksmanship.

Characters[]

Starring[]

Minor[]

Transcript[]

(Red, Blue, Lord Tourettes, Raccoon & Mr. Dingleberry play poker in a round table. Red drinks a can of beer, then Broseph opens the door unexpectedly.)

Broseph: Yo, dudes! Guys night! This is like, crazy right? Alright.

Red: What? Dude, who invited this guy?

Blue: He invited himself.

Red: What a mooch!

(Broseph sits at the table)

Broseph: So what are we playing, ladies? Uno?

Blue: (groans) Hold' em 2 Cards Tanklan Buy In.

Broseph: Right on, right on. So is that like Uno or what? (Drinks beer.)

Red: Uno?! Real men play poker, yo!

Broseph: You saying I'm not a man, bro?! I'm, like, way more manly than you!

Red: Oh, yeah? Prove it, little girl. Manliest man gets the whole pot.

Broseph: Ha, way easy, brah! (Broseph is shown in a gym with extremely large muscles) This 1 time I was, like, at the gym (Shows him benchpressing a bench), then I got down there & bench lifted, like (large barbell appears) 250 pounds! No, no, like, 250 PEOPLE, bro! (250 people are stacked up on the barbell) Like, strippers (the people turn into strippers on a pole) It was so sick, I was like, "No big deal, I got like a good 100 reps," it was chill. (Back in real world) -And I, like, maintained a perfect boner the whole time.

Picture 1

"And I, like, maintained a perfect boner the whole time."

(Red suddenly pulls out a gun & shoots Broseph as he briefly says: "Oh dude!" after a brief awkward silence.)

Blue: Oh yeah, Well, this 1 time, (shows Blue playing an RPG game) I did a 24-hour dungeon crawl using no armor, no magic, and only a Level 1 sword to kill 1,000 fire dragons. And then, I collected all their loot & bought a fuckin' griffen! (Griffen flies to an island full of in-game Pinks) Flew to Babe-a-lonia & had sex (Blue's character penetrates a pink sprite) with all the babes in the village with my Level 12 dick, of the mighty... on a school night! Epiiic!

Red: (pretendingly clearing his throat) Neerrrd.

Blue: It was hecka manly, I was on a dial-up.

Red: So, how aboutchu, Forest Assasson?

Raccoon: (as black bars slowly close into his eyes) It was a long time ago, in ancient Japan, my country was at war & I commanded the strength of the 10,000 Hands of Justice. We were out numbered by the Takagami Demon Army, our town surrounded, I kissed my wife, for the last time, unsheathed the greatest Sword of Destiny & with it, slew 1000,100 warriors! Honorably! After the battle was won, I shattered the blade, so its great fury may never again be used on the earth.

Real dude bros night man

"you're like a little bunny!"

Red: N'awwww! You're so cute, you're like a little bunny!

Raccoon: Bitchel!

Mr. Dingleberry: I remember back in '44... (World War II, Mr. Dingleberry is on a boat & soliders are prepared to fight while one is seasick & vomiting) when we landed in Normandy! (Red & Blue interrupt the story as Lord Tourettes looks up at the ceiling and Raccoon curls up on the bench)

Red: Boooring!

Blue: Oh, my God, is it over yet?!

(Somber music plays as a tear comes down from Mr. Dingleberry's eye.)

Red: (music ends) I gotcha you ALL beat!

(Shows Red's story in a badly drawn fashion.)

Red: This morning I downed a gallon of rubbing alcohol & got a bowl of hand grenades & firecrackers for breakfast before I went outside, built a chainsaw hanglider with barbwire & used it to cut a Siberian Tiger out in space, which I barbecued on the Sun, and after I ate its tiger ribs I scalped it, then I fought a Fire Demon from the 20th dimension & saved a monster truck full of girls and then got massaged by a thousand Brazilian supermodels on a bean bag made out of kitten fur!

Lord Tourettes: (giggles) Well, that's... pretty good...

Red: Ha! You have a manly story?

Lord Tourettes: You bet your sweet ass! (giggles) One gay day in spring, I was just FUCKING around in a field fuuull of flowers!...

Blue: (whispers to Red) This is gonna be good!

(A flashback is shown.)

Lord Tourettes: ...and colourful COCKSUCKING butterflies! I decided to make a bouquet, so I picked 100 daisies! It was so GODDAMN hard, but I did it! (giggles) Then I took the daisies to a fluffy-wuffy bear, and then I (shows Lord Tourettes humping the bear.) FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM (Shows how Lord Tourettes rips the bear's skin with is mouth, as blood pours out & then he rips his head off, drinking the blood coming out.) WHILE I FEASTED UPON HIS FLAILING BONES & FLESH!

(The flashback ends as Lord Tourettes giggles to himself.)

Blue: Ugh... guess you win.

Red: Big time.

(Mr. Dingleberry vomits on the table.)

Lord Tourettes: (Lays 4 cards on the table) Yippee-ki-ay, MOTHERFUCKER! I win!

(Three prostitutes come into the room.)

Lord Tourettes: Prostitutes! Hahaha!

(1 prostitute hands over a shot to Lord Tourettes, who downs it and belches with flames. The prostitutes start dancing.)

Lord Tourettes: Yeah, baby! Back that ass up! Hahahahaa! (while smacking the orange-pink prostitute's ass)

Blue: (in shock) What have we done?

-Episode ends-

(After credits)

Broseph: (off screen) Haha! (screen shows him with extremely large muscles) Come at me, bro.

Dick Figures Title[]

Dick Figure 12

Real Dudes Bros Night Man



Trivia[]

  • This also shows that Raccoon was married since in his story he said that he "kissed his wife for the last time".
  • When Lord Tourettes says "Yippie Ki-Yay, MOTHERFUCKER!" , it makes a reference to the famous catchphrase from the Die Hard franchise.
  • Other than the Bath Rhymes music video, this is the first episode with Mr. Dingleberry since Zombies & Shotguns.
  • This episode reveals that Mr. Dingleberry is a World War II(WWII) veteran, who took part in the 1944 U.S. storming of Omaha Beach during the Normandy Breakout Campaign.
  • When Red shoots Broseph, you can hear him (Broseph) saying "Whoa, dude."1
  • Blue's money in the RPG GAME IS $80085, which looks like "BOOBS".
  • This is the third time Mr. Dingleberry does not die.
  • The first appearance of the three prostitutes.
  • As some fans noticed, Raccoon's story actually connects with Dick Figures: The Movie as both the story and the movie involve scenes with the Raccoon, such as the Great Sword of Destiny, the burning village and it killing many warriors/ninjas.

Running Gags[]

Auto-Tune Use[]

None

Red Floating[]

None

Episode Ending[]

The "I"s in DICK FIGURES are replaced by two of the three prostitutes dancing.

The Last Line Being Cut[]

None

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