|Season 5, Episode 8|
|Air date|| March 27, 2014 (Download) |
May 14, 2014 (Mondo)
May 29, 2014 (YouTube)
|Episode run time||3:32|
While trying to rid their apartment of an ant infestation, Red and Blue are shrunk down to insect-size! The ants revere Red as their “Trash God” because of how dirty he is. Ant-hilarity ensues.
(In the apartment, Red eats pizza. The place is filled with ants and pizza boxes.)
Blue: Dude, have you seen my car keys? I can't find anything in this place it's a fucking mess!
Red: They're probably in one of those pizza boxes.
Blue: (groans) I told you to get rid of those a week ago! Now we have like a zillion ants!
(Red stomps on an ant.)
Red: Now it's a zillion and one! (floats)
Blue: I'm gonna go call the exterminator.
(Knock at the door, Blue opens it and it shows Raccoon,)
Raccoon: Hola! I wirr kirr your ants. I have brought the ANT-imizer! It's... an Atimizer for ants, get it?
Red: (to Blue with an annoyed look) We should call an exterminator for our Raccoon problem.
Blue: Hup! Uh, nothing, fire away.
(Raccoon fires the Antimizer at Red and Blue, who both suddenly disappear.)
Raccoon: Oops. That was de a Shrink-a ray! (slowly backs away) Back away. Srowrrryyyy. Sorry.
(Cut to Red and Blue.)
Blue: Wha-? Where are we?!
Red: Du-u-ude! We're TINYYYYYYY!
(Shows them shrunk down with ants walking around them.)
Blue: We got shrunk?!
(An ant approaches the two.)
Ant: Hey! What are you two bunkeads, doing on our turf?
Blue: Your turf?! This is our apartment, what are you doing here?!
Ant: We were drawn by the endless bounty of the all mighty pile!
(Cut to the pizza box pile With slow uprising heavenly music.)
Red: Ohh, my pizza boxes!
(Heavenly music plays)
Ant: Your... pizza boxes? (falls to his knees) The Trash God comeeeth!
Other ants: Trash God? That must be Trash God.
(All of the ants fall to their knees.)
Ants: All hail Trash God!
Blue: (angry) No...fucking...way.
Red: (happy) No...fucking...way!
Ant 1: Trash God, you honor us with your presence. We thank you for your weeks of delicious garbage. Come. Let us bathe you in old beer and Pepperoni oils.
Red: (to Blue, laughing) Holy crap, this is my dream.
Ant 2: Oh! Take him to the holy crap!
Other ants: (picking up Red and carrying him) Take him to the holy crap!
(They go to Blue's room)
Ant 1: Behold! The holy crap!
(A pile of feces is on the floor.)
Red: Ho ho, that one's a classic.
Blue: What?! Red, you pooped in my room again?!
Ant 1: Your... room?
Blue: (nervous) Uhhh... maybe?
Ant 1: You are the Blue Titan! You who vacuum our peoples and take our crumbs!
Ant 2: You swept off my family!
Blue: (still nervous) I have a girlfriend. Gotta keep my room clean.
Ant 1: Seize the bringer of death!
(The ants charge toward Blue and two of them grab him.)
Blue: Hey, don't seize me, you assholes!
Ant 1: Benevolent Trash God, what should we do with the bringer of death?
Red:(brief pause, then glares at Blue) Bring him DEATH!
Blue: What?! Red! This isn't funny, come on, man!
Ant 1: You will suffer, the worst death imaginable. (Holds up the shrink ray.) SHRINK RAAAYYYYY!
(The other ants cheer.)
Blue: Oh, God, what a Monday!
Ant 1: We will make the Blue Titan, Blue, Ti-nyyyy! (Shrinks Blue, who screams.)
Blue: Oh, my God!
(Ant 2 picks him up and gives him to Red.)
Ant 1: An offering to the red Trash God!
Blue: No! No! Red, don't eat me!
Red: Sorry, dude. Shoulda let me eat that pizza.
(Red eats him. The ants cheer and Red laughs.)
Ant 1: Oh, the world is finally at peace. All hail Trash God!
Red: Feast upon the pile!
Ants: To the pile!
(The ants and Red head towards the pizza pile.)
(Cut to inside Red's stomach, which is pitch-black. Blue opens his eyes.)
Blue: Oh, my God! I'm in Red's stomach, this is my nightmare! (Looks down to his right.) Oh, there's my keys.
Normal letter I's, the Dick Figures logo shakes, and the Episode Ending is dextended. Then a promo for Dick Figures Season 5. In the YouTube version, it instead showed a sneak peek for Chick Figures
Red was floating in the beginning after stepping on an ant.
- When Red stomped on one of the ants, he said there was a zillion and one left, but Blue earlier said there was only a zillion, this could likely be an error or shows that Red or Blue have bad counting.
- This is the least viewed episode of the entire series, possibly due to the strongly negative response the episode received.
- According to Zack Keller, Trash God was the last episode Ed and Zack had to make for Season 5, even though it's the eight episode of the season.