"That's a fucking dragon!"
|Enemies||Everyone it meets|
The Turtle Dragon is a huge fire-breathing tortoise that appeared in Traffic Jams. It was slowly stomping on all the cars on the freeway, until Red brought a sword and began to attack the Tortoise Dragon along with Blue. It was seen again decapitated with its head mounted on a wall. The turtle dragon also appeared in Lord Tourette's Syndrome where it was having sex with another turtle dragon.